Thursday, September 15, 2011

Praying for a miracle.

What is a miracle anyway?  When we see the Hand of God at work in the world?  When prayers are answered in unexpected ways?  New life when you thought you had been forsaken?  If it’s any of the above, then I am in need of one…well, I want one anyway. 
Sometimes I feel like my life is definitely going in the “wrong” direction and I must have fallen asleep somewhere along the way, because it is turning into a nightmare.  In fact, I’m sure the LORD knows what He is about, and it is all going to make me a better person in the long run, but dreams die hard.  I really just want to wake up now and find myself in a cozy home with plenty of bedrooms, obedient children, no lingering loans or debts to be paid, the chance to go to daily Mass and volunteer at the school, and spend evenings on the couch with my husband.

But I know the LORD too well to actually *pray* for a miracle.  I know what kinds of miracles He gives…babies and illness, changing seasons and new relationships—things that will not necessarily make my situation better, but make me understand HIM better.  And frankly, though He encourages me to “be not afraid,” I am very afraid to take on more right now, even if it gives me a better glimpse at the Maker of the Universe.  I know I should not be.  I know the only way is to look beyond my *dream* world to see the bigger picture.

So I’m going to be setting my eyes on Jesus and trying to put my trust in Him…and if He gives me a miracle, it might just be that I will recognize its Beauty and Truth as more precious than hardships to follow.  But the prayers...well, you let me know if you want me to pray for *you* to get a miracle :)

1 comment:

  1. Wouldn't it be easier to be patient if we were in on the master plan. So frequently, I find myself wondering if I'm ignoring His his plan for me to chase after my own ambitions, or if I'm actually living out this stage of the bigger picture. How does a person ever know the difference between their own desires and the desires God puts in their hearts? If we have a picture in our minds of the way things should be and it's not at all what He wants for us, is prayer enough to reconcile the two?