When it comes to all the little "deaths" that family life requires and I compare them to the death of Christ I know I'm way off because there is a part of me that considers the finality of Christ's act as a blessing. When compared to this kind of life where the sacrifices are daily, continuous, and heart-wrenching is like the difference between death and becoming a zombie/vampire/undead creature of your choice.
The biggest source of despair is that I know there is no end soon. Tomorrow I will get up and my autisic daughter will have another panic attack over having to wear pants or go to school. Dan and I will be frustrated that we became frustrated again. I will still have to make dinner with 5 hungry kids fighting and whining, not wanting to do dinnertime chores after I get home from work. "Just take me now LORD" is my unspoken prayer. And He does. He takes me just to the brink then urges a child into the room to ask for a kiss or ask why I'm cying, and I know that I am loved and this too shall pass, and I am blessed to be "resurrected" by a child, saved from becoming a mommy-zombie.
So it makes me think....I must be overlooking the multitude of daily sacrifices that Christ lived through and maybe reflecting on those will bring me to a deeper understanding of the sacrifce he made at the end of his life.